Category Archives: The Street
Wall Street Traders Manipulating Market With Facial Expressions
New York City – The SEC has charged several Wall Street traders with manipulating financial markets using nothing but their face. Undercover agents capture these traders grinning up and grimacing down the Dow and Nasdaq for personal gain.
Filed under Headlines, The Street, Work
Intermission
We pause all attempts at humor for a moment to relate a solution to the Wall Street problem, found here on MSNBC.com. If you’d rather entrust your financial future to your local Main Street than to Wall Street, consider “Locavesting.” … Continue reading
Filed under The Street
Summer Terrors
White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer issued this statement the other day: “The President believes that solving our fiscal problems is an economic imperative. But in order to do that, we cannot ask the middle-class and seniors to bear all … Continue reading
Filed under Driving, popular culture, The Street
“The stockholder of yesterday is the stowaway of today.”
– Groucho Marx in Monkey Business Between meetings you work up the nerve to check your 401(K) online and discover that since your last visit a year’s worth of contributions have done gone phssssitt! in a protracted market decline the … Continue reading
Filed under Headlines, popular culture, The Street, Uncategorized, Work
White House Appoints Amish as Chief Wall Street Overseers
Plain Dress Short Selling to Replace Naked Short Selling Manhattan – The Obama administration announced Sunday a set of sweeping changes that will place all of Wall Street under the watchful regulatory eye of a community for whom integrity and austerity … Continue reading
Filed under Headlines, Meeting Canceled, The Street, Wealth
10 Ways to Explain Employment Gaps on Your Résumé During a Recession
10. Gave birth to 237 kids following fertility treatment 9. 8-month party at Michael Phelps’ poolhouse 8. Ambien made me sleepwalk to South America 7. Traveled to United Kingdom to show support for Teacake Tax Battle protestors 6. Spent gap … Continue reading
Filed under Feeling Listless?, Headlines, Holidays, Meeting Canceled, midlife, The Street, Uncategorized, Work
Bush Pardons Bush
Washington, D.C. – The 142nd name on the list of pardons granted by President George W. Bush is George W. Bush. Serious-faced officials wearing trustworthy dark suits announced today that the President is soon to be self-pardoned for a … Continue reading
Filed under Election, Headlines, Nine Eleven, The Street, Work
Economic Cleanup in Aisle 3: A Fiscal Stimulus on the Rocks
by Jeff Sawyer The wife and I came up with an economic stimulus plan of our own the other night, and it’s pretty straightforward: legislate a two-drink minimum at the supermarket. We shared a couple of stiff ones before heading … Continue reading
Filed under Election, Shop til you stop, The Street, Wealth
5 Signs It’s Really Snowing Out There
5. Short guys wearing snorkels 4. People at airports putting tiny chains on luggage wheels 3. Shy dweeb from high school shop class suddenly gets all kind of attitude behind wheel of city plow 2. Post Office delivers notice saying … Continue reading
Filed under Feeling Listless?, Holidays, The City, The Street
