Category Archives: Shop til you stop
PANTS
Oh, these pants of ours, these new-for-Spring ‘11 pants. Slip them on – and watch out! Now you’re wearing pants! These are not the primordial color of the new spring-summer collection. We call it “khaki.” You will, too We are … Continue reading
Filed under Creative, popular culture, Selling Online, Shop til you stop
Home on the Ranges
Kitchenaid Frigidaire Kenmore Viking Household appliances all to my liking GE Jenn-Air Thermador Amana Cook me some eggs Bake me some manna Waste King Vita-Mix Magic Chef Waring Add jalapenos (My aren’t we daring) Wolf Delonghi Whirlpool Electrolux Broast me … Continue reading
Filed under Shop til you stop
APPLE INTRODUCES SUCCESSOR TO iPAD
Intercourse? There’s an app for that. THE APPLE iDRIVE-IN • iWindow Speakers Optional • 3G Drive-Fi Network • Backlit Starlight Screen • View Housewives of New Jersey Actual Size • Procreation Optional
Filed under blogging, popular culture, Shop til you stop
Top 10 Responses to Seeing Glasses That Let You Lie On Your Back In Bed and Watch TV Without Lifting Your Head from the Pillow
10. Good start! What else do you offer that can help me achieve total immobility? 9. My dog sleeps on the bed. Do they make a pair for dogs? 8. Could someone please catheterize me now? 7. Oh, we could … Continue reading
Filed under Meeting Canceled, popular culture, Shop til you stop, Uncategorized
The Top 10 Fashion Brands of 2010
10. SQUALOR You’d Give Anything to Wear It. And You Will. 9. DEFENESTRATE DENIM If Your Jeans Aren’t Defenestrate, Throw Them Out the Window 8. DEVOLVE Giving Bright, Promising Young Women The Jaded Facade of Third-world Prostitutes 7. DESPERATIONALS Wear … Continue reading
Filed under popular culture, Shop til you stop
Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome Easily Cured with New Socks
Get yourself some hosiery and buck up, boys.
Filed under Health, Health Care, Nine Eleven, popular culture, Shop til you stop
P245 75R16
P245 75R16: 8 a.m. at the Tire Center There are two of us sitting and waiting in this little room with the TV turned off and the last drops of an empty glass carafe crackling into vapor on the Bunn-O-Matic … Continue reading
Filed under Driving, Shop til you stop
Once Around the Block on a Summer Night
Comedy keeps me awake nights, and sometimes a walk around the neighborhood behind a slow-moving hound is just the thing. The hound’s prominent nose reminds me of that of Jake, a coworker and friend who was the night baker at … Continue reading
Filed under popular culture, Shop til you stop, The Beverly Hills Hotel
Aisle 27: Prosthetics, Shampoo, Extension Cords, French Horns
It may just be me – I date-stamp my hosiery for freshness, after all – but I struggle to find what I’m looking for in the pharmaceutical palace that is the modern, full-size drugstore. Oh, it’s there. Everything is there. … Continue reading
Filed under Health Care, Shop til you stop
Life, Death and the Infomercial
First, we need to consider the self-described “big guy.” What he is saying is that he has put so much food into himself, he can no longer scrape all of it out. Herman, there are times in life when God … Continue reading
Filed under Health, popular culture, Selling Online, Shop til you stop, Uncategorized
