Another Spelling Tragedy

Unable to Choose Between the Spellings “Aneurysm” and “Aneurism,” Area Man Suffers Excessive Localized Enlargement of Artery and Weakening of Artery Wall

Jacket by Armani. Face by Ferragamo.

Like it or not, fashion designers color your world. They inform your purchases of clothing, sunglasses, house paint, furniture, jewelry … even automobiles. Remember the Pierre Cardin Cadillac?

You may not buy the label, but whoever made what you do buy was influenced by it.
So why, when it comes time for a new [...]

A1 anyone?

To attract media attention and spike international readership, this week’s post comes to you from inside a giant silver Jiffy Pop balloon drifting over the Alps. In here with me may or may not be a kidnapped Louisiana Justice of the Peace who may or may not have been knocked unconscious with a rubber mallet [...]

E Vomitus Restructurus

With 10% unemployment comes heightened wariness among the other 90%, fear they may be next to move money up the endless conveyor belt of the vertiginous pyramid of capitalism by packing up their cube decor and moving under close escort to the parking lot, so that a senior vice president three levels away on the [...]

All women are beautiful when they laugh.

Thans to the photographers who make their work available through the Creative Commons at Flicker.

Izzy Eats

My name is Izzy,
I’m the world’s largest cat
I called the Guinness folks and said,
“Can you prove that?”
They said,
“There’s one bigger,
We know ’cause we weighed him”
So I went right over
that day
And I ate him.

Life, Death and the Infomercial

First, we need to consider the self-described “big guy.” What he is saying is that he has put so much food into himself, he can no longer scrape all of it out. Herman, there are times in life when God sends you a sign, and this is one of those times. [...]

Around here, that’s what we’d call a dead dog

AP – CHEYENNE, Wyo. – A man said he saved his dog’s life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal’s nose. Bobby Jenkins said he began feeling ill after getting his dog, Tank, to a veterinarian. He went to the hospital and received a dose of antivenin.
In all, Jenkins needed four vials [...]

Boris, Natasha and Viagra

This is the SPAM I received today, verbatim:
Subject Line:
Togehter with goood loook poeple geet deperssion afetr deits

E-mail:
You aree allregic to hosuehold duust? Lifee wolud be betetr if take a piill!
And then a link.
First, this was clearly written by Boris Badenov (I didn’t get the joke in the last name until just now!), spy for [...]

Alzheimer’s Help Desk

“Hello, Alzheimer’s Help Desk.”
 
“Have you seen my dog?”
 
“You don’t own a dog, sir. You have not owned a dog since moving out of your parents’ house in 1958. And technically that was their dog.”
 
“I really think I left a dog around here somewhere.”
 
Readers, you may be thinking about now that this is nothing but an [...]